Why Your Protagonist Wants the Wrong Thing (& How That Makes Your Story Better)
- Bair Klos
- Feb 25
- 7 min read
What Your Character Thinks They Want vs. What They Actually Need
Ever notice that your protagonist thinks they want something… but that thing is actually ruining their life. Welcome to the magic of character development! Every great story boils down to this: Your protagonist is wrong about what they want. They’ll fight tooth and nail for it—until your plot slaps them in the face with what they actually need. So if your character immediately gets what they want, your story is over. If they get what they need too soon, your story is boring. Your job? Make them suffer until they figure it out.
If that sounds mean, well… welcome to storytelling.
Great characters don’t get what they want right away—because what they want is usually a distraction, an emotional crutch, or a full-on terrible idea. They have to struggle, suffer, and grow before they can recognize what they actually need. That’s where conflict, tension, and emotional depth come from.
So let’s break it down:
What your character thinks they want.
What they actually need.
How internal vs. external conflict makes them suffer (for our entertainment).
Writing exercises to help you apply this to your own characters.
Step 1: What Your Character Thinks They Want (AKA, The Lie They Tell Themselves)
Your protagonist is absolutely convinced they need [insert questionable goal here] to be happy. It doesn’t matter if that goal is revenge, validation, money, romance, power, freedom, control, or even just being left alone (ehem, Shrek). Whatever it is, they believe it wholeheartedly. The catch? This goal is a distraction from their real issue. Whether it’s a trauma response, an unhealthy obsession, or just plain stubbornness, they believe this external thing will solve their problems. Spoiler: It won’t. But that’s part of the fun—watching them chase the wrong dream while their actual need looms in the background, waiting to be realized (usually after significant suffering).
Why Do Characters Cling to the Wrong Goal?
It’s easier. (Why work on emotional healing when you can just overthrow a kingdom instead?)
It’s what they’ve been conditioned to believe. (Maybe society, their parents, or their past trauma have convinced them this is the only way.)
It’s a defense mechanism. (If they admit they need love, they risk getting hurt. If they admit they need to change, they risk failure.)
Examples of Characters Who Want the Wrong Thing:
Ariel (The Little Mermaid): Wants legs so she can be with Prince Eric. (Totally ignores the small detail of giving up her voice and entire identity.)
Jay Gatsby (The Great Gatsby): Wants Daisy, convinced she’ll complete him. (Bro, no. You want self-worth.)
Elsa (Frozen): Wants isolation because she thinks it’s the only way to feel safe. (It’s actually making her miserable.)
Walter White (Breaking Bad): Wants money for his family. (Thinks it’s about security, but actually just craves power and control.)
Katniss Everdeen (The Hunger Games): Wants to survive and protect her family. (But survival alone doesn’t fix the broken system.)
Step 2: What Your Character Actually Needs (AKA, Their Emotional Growth Arc)
What they want is external, but what they need is internal—self-worth, healing, purpose, connection, acceptance. This realization doesn’t come easily; it’s usually forced upon them through conflict, failure, or loss. The moment they realize that their original goal was a coping mechanism, not a solution, is the moment their true arc begins. Whether they embrace this need (hello, satisfying character growth) or reject it (cue tragic downfall) is what makes stories so compelling.
What your protagonist wants is external. What they need is internal.
At some point (preferably after suffering), they realize their goal was shallow, toxic, impossible, or entirely missing the point. The true emotional resolution comes from getting what they need instead.
Common “Wants” vs. “Needs” in Character Arcs:
What They Think They Want | What They Actually Need |
Revenge | Closure & healing |
Love from the wrong person | Self-worth & self-love |
Power | Connection & trust |
Money/success | A sense of purpose |
Isolation | True safety & belonging |
Control | Acceptance of uncertainty |
Examples of Characters Who Finally Get It:
Ariel (The Little Mermaid): Learns her voice is more valuable than her legs.
Gatsby (The Great Gatsby): Well… he doesn’t actually learn. He dies clinging to the illusion. But that’s why it’s a tragedy!
Elsa (Frozen): Learns that love and connection, not isolation, give her control over her powers.
Walter White (Breaking Bad): Learns… nothing. His refusal to change is what makes his downfall so compelling.
Katniss Everdeen (The Hunger Games): Learns that survival alone isn’t enough—she must fight for something bigger.
See this blog post here to get more ideas for internal & external conflicts.
Step 3: The Role of Internal vs. External Conflict (AKA, Why Writers Are ✨Evil✨)
A great story doesn’t just hand the protagonist what they need—it makes them fight for it. External conflict throws obstacles in their path, stopping them from reaching their goal, while internal conflict forces them to confront their own flaws and fears. Maybe they want love but push people away. Maybe they want revenge but struggle with guilt. The best stories make them wrestle with both—because the world isn’t just against them, they’re against themselves, too.
Now that we know what they want vs. what they need, how do we make them suffer properly?
External Conflict (The World Says “No”)
External conflict is everything outside of the character that stands in their way—antagonists, society, nature, or even fate itself. It’s the physical, visible challenges they must overcome to get what they want. Whether it’s a ruthless villain, an oppressive system, or an impending apocalypse, external conflict keeps the plot moving. But the best stories weave internal and external conflicts together—forcing characters to confront not just the world, but themselves.
Internal Conflict (The Character Gets in Their Own Way)
Internal conflict is the battle happening inside your protagonist—the emotional turmoil, doubts, fears, and contradictions that shape their decisions. It’s driven by their wants vs. needs, unresolved trauma, or deeply held beliefs that the story will challenge. A hero might want revenge but secretly crave peace. A loner might insist they don’t need anyone, yet fear being truly alone. This inner struggle creates depth, making characters feel real, flawed, and human. This is the emotional struggle—their flaws, fears, and deep-seated issues that make achieving their goal impossible until they change.
Why Both Conflicts Matter:
External conflict keeps the story moving.
Internal conflict makes it meaningful.
The best stories force characters to confront both.
Writing Exercises
Now that we’ve explored how internal and external conflicts shape a character’s journey, let’s put this into practice. Understanding the difference between what your protagonist wants and what they actually need is one thing—applying it to your story is another. The best way to internalize these concepts? Get your hands dirty and start writing. Below are some exercises to help you craft deeper, more compelling character arcs.
Writing Exercise 1: The False Goal
Write down your protagonist’s main goal at the start of the story.
Now ask yourself: Is this goal external (money, revenge, love, power) or internal (self-worth, acceptance, purpose, healing)?
What happens if they get this goal immediately? (Does it actually make them happy, or does it lead to a hollow victory?)
What flaw, belief, or fear is making them chase the wrong thing?
Writing Exercise 2: The Need They’re Avoiding
What lie does your character believe about themselves or the world?
What lesson must they learn before they can grow?
What moment in the story forces them to confront this truth?
Do they accept the truth and change—or reject it and face consequences?
Writing Exercise 3: Conflict Breakdown
What external force is actively stopping your protagonist from getting what they want?
What internal fear or flaw is making them sabotage their own success?
What’s a moment in your story where these two conflicts collide?
Concluding Thoughts
At its core, every great character arc is a battle between what they want and what they truly need. The tension between these two forces drives the story forward, deepens emotional stakes, and makes the resolution satisfying—whether it’s triumphant or tragic. The key is to let your protagonist struggle, fail, and learn (or refuse to). The harder they fight for the wrong thing, the more impactful it is when they finally see the truth. So go forth, make them suffer, and craft arcs that hit your readers where it hurts—in the best way possible.
Ask Yourself:
What does my protagonist think will solve their problem?
What deeper emotional truth are they avoiding?
How does external conflict challenge their want?
How does internal conflict force them to change?
Your Turn! Drop a comment below: What’s a great example of a character who wanted the wrong thing? Or better yet, tell me how your own protagonist is currently ruining their life. Let’s talk about it!
“The greatest conflicts are not between two people but between one person and himself.” – Garth Brooks
Now get to writing, I believe in you!
—Bair✍︎
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