Greetings world~ Been a minute since I wrote a blog, but I'm glad that as I exist in this weird liminal space between the end of my summer classes and the beginning of my fall semester, I finally got some inspo to get the ball rolling again. Lately, I've been particularly inspired by a mix of things: The Artist's Way, the movie  Deepwater Horizon , and my own effort to reclaim my attention span from the death grip of social media algorithms. Just like how we shouldn't binge eat, I don’t think it’s wise to binge consume media. And yet, that’s the norm. Pick your poison: Netflix, Hulu, Disney+, HBO, TikTok, YouTube, video games, Twitter (I will never call it X), Reddit, Instagram Reels, etcetera etcetera, the list goes on . The stream never ends. And neither does the expectation to keep swimming in it. Admittedly, I've always enjoyed being contrarian. I've always been drawn to trodding the path less taken. Although, some of this started back when I was a tween and very much in my “pick-me” era—the kind of mindset that whispered, “I’m not like other people… I’m an intellectual .” But over time, that need to be seen as different and distinctive has matured into something far more grounded—it's no longer about being clever, but more about living aligned. Less about being perceived a certain way or being "better", but being more me. And to no longer feel the need to prove myself and more about living genuinely and authentically with intention as someone who values depth and autonomy in a world that often rewards the opposite. Though this tendency to resist the pull of the majority isn’t random. While it is part instinct, it's also part upbringing. Both of my parents are extraordinary people. People who truly stand out from the crowd. With my mom being an incredibly intelligent, emotionally smart, woman in a position of leadership for all her adult life (and long before I was ever born), my dad has also been someone with extraordinary talents and ways of thinking. Their combination and rather unusual dynamic — my mom the "bread winner" and my dad the stay-at-home parent, something that still isn't widely accepted even in the year 2025 —they not only fostered, but instilled the innate desire in me to take the road less travelled. Whether it was politics, pop culture, music, or just how we spent our weekends, they taught me to question what everyone else seemed so quick to accept. Not just for rebellion's sake, but because they wanted to raise their child to be able to think critically, and to therefore think for themselves—to have the courage to stand by my own choices and convictions. In the past, I've even prided myself for not having watched a ton of current TV shows or movies. Not because I think I’m better than anyone, but because most of the time? I'm just not interested. It's rare for something mainstream to catch my interest enough for me to even go looking for it. I tend to enjoy niche topics, so most  hyped shows don't intrigue me. That said, I’m not immune to falling down YouTube rabbit holes. I’ve sunk countless hours into video essays and educational content (and a whole bunch of other unnecessary garbage), convincing myself it was “productive” because, hey, I was learning about dinosaurs or human evolution from Hank Green. But I won't pretend I’m above the dopamine slot machine, because my latest dopamine addiction has been Trixie and Katya. Because being smart and stupid is my Roman empire, and sometimes you need to balance evolution theory with drag queen chaos. And because, well… They're iconic and funny as hell. GIF of the ✨iconiqué✨ drag queens Trixie Mattel and Katya Zamolodchikova serving chaos, commentary, & couture. ( AKA, me and my one remaining brain cell trying to reclaim my attention in the age of streaming.) But the truth is, even that can become a smokescreen—a way to justify avoiding the things I actually care about. Lately, I’ve been working on reclaiming my attention. Especially as someone who is neurodivergent, I know how precious focus is. I don’t want my brain to atrophy like a muscle I never use. So I evaluated my habits and started putting hard stops on my YouTube consumption, and the difference has been  palpable . Less screen time = more energy. More time to create, to move, and just be. But this isn’t about demonizing media altogether. In fact, that’s the other side of the coin I want to talk about. Let's get into it. Table Of Contents Reclaiming One's Attention All Work, No Play The Benefits Of Boredom Review Your Relationship With Art Analyzing Art FML & My High Standards… Let Me Enjoy My Trash In Peace Concluding Thoughts Reclaiming One's Attention Like an on-again-off-again situationship, reclaiming my attention has been an on-going, several year endeavor. The kind where, just when I think I’ve broken things off for good, I find myself back in old patterns I thought I had risen above.   There have come points in time since 2020 where I've deleted all my social media apps, determined to not get sucked into the algorithm because it was eating so much of my time… only to redownload them thinking I could resist their seductive sirens call. And for a while, I can. But the doomscrolling always finds a way to sneak back in. Especially when I’m tired, overstimulated, or avoiding something deeper. I know I'm not the only person who has done this. I've heard time and time again from my friends lamenting about the same behavior. We all think we're Tom Bombadil, when in reality we're actually Boromir. The Ring will always win, unless you throw it in the fire (delete the apps).   The algorithms are made to be predatory, they're meant to keep you on the app and endlessly doomscrolling. But the best way to reclaim your attention and not getting tempted back onto social media is to not redownload the apps. I know, how obvious. So when the siren song snags through my subconscious or conscious mind to seek out a dopamine hit, I have to ask myself: How much of my craving for dopamine is because I’ve cut down on social media, and how much of it is just my ADHD brain, doing what it does best?   Either way, the urge is there. And rather than pretending I’m above it—like Boromir with the One Ring, thinking I can handle its pull—I’ve had to admit that I can’t always trust myself with unstructured access to the algorithm. So I’ve started approaching it differently.   My solution? To stop fighting the craving with shame, and instead replacing old habits with better ones. To build structures that protect my energy. And to do something kind of radical in this hyper-connected digital age: Go silent.   Prioritize  silence. Leave my phone behind when I go for a walk. Pause before reflexively opening an app. Ask myself what I actually need—stimulation or stillness? Distraction or restoration?   I started asking these questions after noticing that I was stuck in a loop—doing the same things over and over again, expecting a different outcome (which, as they say, is the definition of insanity). So instead of doomscrolling, I reach for a book, or go for a talk, or text a friend. Instead of typing “YouTube” out of muscle memory, I open Substack, or Letterboxd, or a podcast I’ve been saving.   And to help me out, I didn’t rely on willpower alone. I installed two browser extensions on my computer and one on my phone that block me from accessing certain sites after a set time limit. If I want to bypass it, I have to jump through e nough hoops and confirmation boxes that I usually stop mid-click—humorously shamed into turning back . And on my phone, if I need to open something, like respond to a friend whose contact I only have on Instagram, it makes me wait 30 seconds before opening, and before it opens, the screen reads in big bold, italicized, capital letters: YOU HAVE DREAMS AND AMBITIONS. DON’T LOSE SIGHT OF YOUR WHY.   Not to shame myself, but to anchor myself. T o not let myself fall unawarely into passivity, and become a side character in my own life. Because it is better to build toward better, sustainable, and fulfilling habits, than escaping into a nonconstructive non-reality that steals my attention for hours. And surprisingly…? It’s working.   That’s what has made me reconsider how I watch shows and movies. I have no problem sitting down in a theater and being immersed—that feels intentional. Sacred, even. But binge-watching a TV at home just to fill space? I don’t love that. I shamed myself out of that long ago. So unless I’m watching with other people, I find it off-putting. Even the few shows I do enjoy, sometimes it takes me months to finish. Even if there are six episodes and the episodes are only 20min long. Too much of a good thing is still too much.   And that brings me to the real heart of this post. Not about demonizing media, or replacing one addiction with another, but about remaining present . To undo the shame I had instilled within myself over binge watching content that I knew was a waste of time. Remembering that some shows and films aren’t just content—they can be capital-A Art. That escapism, when chosen mindfully, can be deeply healing. That getting lost in a movie, feeling your spirit shift and stir, is not a waste of time— it’s the point .   So instead of consuming media as background noise or emotional filler, I’ve started carving out time for it. Purposefully. Whether it’s to be moved, inspired, or simply entertained. Sometimes, it’s research. Sometimes, it’s rest. Sometimes, it’s reverence. All Work, No Play (The Other Extreme) In my effort to reclaim my attention and protect my energy from the algorithm, I’ve noticed another trap—one that’s just as sneaky, just as seductive, and arguably just as damaging: the belief that consuming any media is a waste of time. I've especially seen this with some of my friends. I've certainly been guilty of believing that rest must be earned. That inspiration must be scheduled. That in order to be successful, or self-aware, or evolved, you have to always be on and productive. I’ve written about this before—especially in my post on How To See The World Like An Artist —and I’m still learning how deep this mindset runs. But let’s be clear: that’s just another kind of poison. Some people live for years—even decades—caught in a fog of passivity. Days bleed into weeks, weeks into years, glued to their screens, numbing out, convincing themselves they’ll get around to their dreams “eventually.” Then something shakes them. A moment of clarity. A health scare. A breakup. A lost opportunity. A creative drought. And suddenly, the haze clears. They see how much time has slipped by, and they panic. So they swing hard in the other direction. Hustle. Structure. No time wasted. They cram productivity into every minute like they’re trying to make up for lost time. But now they’re on the other  extreme. Rest becomes guilt, leisure becomes laziness, and any form of stillness feels dangerous. They’re no longer wasting their lives, but they’re no longer living  them either. Just sprinting through a to-do list, afraid of ever slowing down. We think we’re fixing the problem by going from one end of the spectrum to the other. But both are unsustainable. Both are exhausting. And both rob us of the quiet middle ground where true creativity, connection, and life  actually happen. We must find that middle ground. Let's be clear too, not everyone's middle ground will look the same. But in being mindful and existing in that balance, I must call out the massive differences between mindless consumption and soulful replenishment. One leaves you feeling empty; the other fills you up from somewhere soft and sacred. We are not machines. We are not here to optimize every hour of our lives like calendar blocks in Google. There is something profoundly healing, even necessary, about letting yourself sit with a story. To get swept up in something beautiful, human, and messy. To really let yourself feel something. Sometimes, letting yourself watch a movie—not to analyze it, not to dissect the cinematography, not to “earn it” by folding laundry or answering emails while it plays, but simply to enjoy it, that is what your creative self needs. Because as much as I resist binge-watching, I also resist grind-watching—that reflex to turn even leisure into a task. To turn art into utility. To turn rest into performance. Let yourself romanticize your life. Let yourself get bored. Let yourself feel awe again. Let yourself play. That’s part of real rebellion of going against the capitalist agenda. The Benefits Of Boredom There’s a kind of quiet magic that only reveals itself when everything else stops. When the tabs are closed, the notifications silenced, the screen turned black—and it’s just you, breathing, listening, being. In a world that demands constant motion, stillness feels alien. Boredom, even more so. But it’s in that intentional pause that enchantment begins to stir. Without something constantly filling the space, your thoughts stretch, your senses reawaken, and your inner world starts speaking again: You realize the wind is hushing against your window, stirring the branches of a tree outside. You realize how good it feels to sip something warm without distraction. You notice how delicious the food your eating is, despite it being takeout. You realize how your own imagination flickers to life when it’s no longer smothered by the technologies noise. In a Harvard Business Review article by Arthur C. Brooks , researchers found that boredom opens the door to asking big questions—the kind that invite wonder, clarity, and originality. But when we never let ourselves be bored—when we scroll, scroll, scroll to fill the silence—we start to feel hollow. Stretched thin. Like we’re chasing stimulation instead of living. So here’s a gentle rebellion to try: No devices after 8 or 9 PM No phones during meals, even solo ones Do a regular digital “fast” (one day, one weekend, or one hour at a time) Don’t sleep with your phone by your bed Give yourself 15+ minutes of intentional boredom every day Stillness invites wonder. It invites presence. It lets the soul exhale. You may just start digging into the biggest questions in your life: purpose, meaning, significance. You don’t have to meditate on a mountaintop or delete all your apps—but try letting yourself be still for just fifteen minutes a day. No input. No performance. No scrolling. Just stillness. Observe what blooms in the absence of stimulation.   And who knows? You may just find yourself returning to yourself. So when the world feels like too much, you don’t always need something to escape into or a productivity hack. You might just need to be bored. Yes, bored. On purpose . How terrifying. Reviewing Your Relationship With Art  Back in early February, I made friends with a film student—someone who has since become a very dear friend of mine. One of my best friends, honestly. The kind of person you meet and instantly recognize as a kindred spirit. The day we met, she introduced me to The Artist’s Way , and together we started a little book club: one chapter a week, followed by deep discussions over what we've read, how it resonated with us, what it stirred up, and what we’re still trying to untangle.   That book, and the conversations it’s sparked, have led me to review, in-depth, my relationship with art. Not just writing, but music. Film. Drawing. Painting. Creating anything. And not just the making of it, but the receiving of it. The way art holds space for me, reflects me, shifts me. And the way I’ve sometimes distanced myself from it, out of fear or distraction or not feeling “not good enough” to create anything at all. So I wanted to share the abbreviated versions of the first three chapters: Chapter One: Safety is about acknowledging the wounds we carry around our creativity—the teachers who dismissed us, the family who didn’t take it seriously, the inner monologue who tells us we have more urgent things to do, the inner voice that says “you’re not good enough.”  This chapter is aimed to help readers name where we've internalized shame around making things—and even consuming art with full presence and without apology. Chapter Two: Identity is where things got personal. It asks you to pay attention to jealousy and envy, not as something to avoid, but as a compass. It asks: "What are you drawn to? What lights you up with admiration or bitterness?" That might be your creative soul pointing toward what it actually wants. This chapter helped me realize that my hesitations around consuming certain types of art weren’t just taste—they were avoidance. Because sometimes when we envy people who make things we love, it's because deep down, we want to make things like that too. Chapter Three: Power reminds you that you are allowed to make things. That perfectionism is a mask for fear. That there’s strength in starting—even if it’s messy, inconsistent, or private. That creativity isn’t a gift granted to a lucky few—it’s a birthright, something every person carries.   So I encourage you to read The Artists Way too. To read and re-read, listen or re-listen to music that once meant something. Watch a film that made you cry in high school, let yourself sketch in the margins of your journal without judgment—these small acts help to rebuild trust between you and your creative self. Not to produce, not to publish, not to prove anything, just to feel connected again. Expressing ourselves is innately human and cathartic, we should never snuff it. Because art, when approached with openness and honesty, doesn’t demand anything from us. It invites us back into ourselves. Analyzing Art After years of doomscrolling, dopamine-chasing, and passive consumption, our brains have gotten used to being spoon-fed content instead of being invited to wrestle with it. But good, intentional art (if you don't have your brain off, that is) asks something of you . And lately, I’ve been relearning how to meet it halfway. But this means stretching my thinking muscles. God knows that a majority of us haven’t been using them…After years of social media rot and dopamine-chasing, it genuinely feels like our brains have gone soft. Like soup. We’re so used to being fed content in neatly packaged, algorithm-approved morsels that we’ve forgotten how to think  for ourselves; to wrestle with complexity, to sit with ambiguity, to ask: Why did the artist choose that? What is this scene trying to say? What’s the subtext here?  Or even: What’s missing? What feels off? And honestly? I think doomscrolling is one of the main reasons people have become so… dumb lately. I don’t mean that cruelly. I mean it like a bone-deep sigh. Because it’s not our fault. None of us were taught to think in school—not really. Critical thinking wasn’t part of the curriculum; obedience was. Thanks American education system… So now we’re here, trying to unstick our brains from years of passive consumption, wondering why everything feels a little hollow. But the good news? Thinking is a muscle and muscles can be built and rebuilt. So here’s where I've been starting: Watching something because I want  to feel something, because I want to be inspired. To see the world through new eyes. To let my empathy be stretched, or my imagination lit up, to have my soul stirred in some meaningful way. Or hell, even to get mad  at a character. To let them tap-dance on my last nerve and force me to wrestle with the choices they’re making before I inevitably turn off the show or movie and chuck the remote across the room in frustration. That too, is an emotional release. And it’s worth something. Because humans are artful creatures. We tell stories to survive. To connect. To reflect. To understand ourselves and each other. To shun art—or worse, to treat it as a frivolous afterthought—is to do a disservice to the work itself, to the creators who poured themselves into it, and to the parts of you  that are waiting to be moved. Hollywood and the industry at large for cranking out soulless, lowest-common-denominator, algorithm-baiting content. Not everything has to be high art, but can't someone care about what they're saying??… More to be said on this in the next section. So the next time you watch something, anything , try sitting back and asking: What is this trying to say? Who is this made for? Why this  setting, this  costume, this  color, this  line? What feels intentional? What feels lazy? What does this make me feel, and why ? And maybe even: what would I do differently? That’s how we start reclaiming our critical thinking. Not through judgment. But through curiosity. Further Reading & Writing Resources Want to dive deeper? These resources blog posts expand on some of the ideas shared in this blog: You Are the Story You Tell Yourself | An Existential Take on Why Humans Crave Stories   – Explore how the narratives we craft—both on the page and in our own minds—shape our identity, purpose, and perception of the world. This post dives into the existential power of storytelling and how understanding it can make you not only a better writer, but a more self-aware human. How Writing Has Made Me a Better Person (& How It Can Do the Same for You)  – Learn how the act of writing can transform your inner world, deepen your self-awareness, and foster personal growth. This post explores the emotional, mental, and even spiritual benefits of writing—whether you’re journaling, drafting a novel, or just trying to make sense of your life. Now, I want to give some credit where credit is due. The same film friend I do book club with is also the one who reinvigorated my interest in watching movies and shows. When I have sat down to enjoy a movie in the evening by myself, I find myself being a bit more present. I not only enjoy the movie for its aesthetic and beautiful costume design, but for the cinematography, lighting, costuming, color palettes, set design. All the big and small, deliberate and subtle ways filmmakers tell stories within stories. She’s helped me remember how layered and amazing visual storytelling can be, and how much power can exist in a single, well-composed frame. Take this screen shot from season one, episode two, of The Last Of Us on HBO. (Spoiler Alert: I will be sharing some minor details from season one.) Screen shot from The Last Of Us , HBO Max. Season 1, Episode 2. When I first watched this episode, some part of my storytelling brain surfaced and was awed due to the show's visual storytelling. In this one beautifully haunting scene, Ellie sits alone in a dilapidated room, overtaken by moss and plant life, with warm sunlight cascading down upon her, illuminating her and her surroundings. Meanwhile, Joel and Tess sit apart from her in the shadows—physically present, but emotionally and symbolically distanced. Joel, however, is caught in the soft edges of that golden light as he looks at Ellie. Tess remains in the dark. It's a scene that happens so quickly, with so many jumps and cuts in-between that its almost a "blink-and-you-miss-it" scenario. The set up of the shot is no accident. The light and greenery are all intentional, it’s all deliberate cinematography doing narrative work. Ellie is the light. She’s the key to hope, to rebirth, to something green growing again in a dead world. Joel and Tess, cloaked in darkness, still exist in the old world, the broken one. But notice Joel in the screen shot. Joel, still hardened and traumatized, is tentatively turning toward Ellie, toward hope. He's more illuminated in this shot than Tess. Tess, whose fate has already been sealed by infection, remains cloaked in shadow, her story already ending. But Ellie? She represents what comes next. Growth. Healing. Life. And the scene shows us that not through dialogue, but through light and silence and visual contrast. That’s the kind of analysis we miss when we consume art passively. But when you slow down, pause, look , you start to see it: the story beneath the story. When you slow down, when you let yourself look , media becomes something so much more than content. It becomes layered, emotional, intimate. You’re no longer a passive viewer, but an active participant in the conversation the creator started. Lighting becomes a language. Composition becomes prophecy. And suddenly, you’re not just watching something—you’re feeling  it in your bones. It's like lifting a veil from your eyes and being let in on a delicious secret. FML & My High Standards Now, with all that said about analyzing art… FML and my high standards. Because here’s the downside of developing a discerning eye: once you start holding yourself to a higher standard—artistically, creatively, emotionally—you can’t help but start holding everything else to that standard too. And when I’ve spent so much time, energy, money, and soul  honing my own craft, pouring devotion into details, it’s genuinely disheartening to engage with art that feels… lazy. Rushed. Or gutted by corporate greed. I’ve been abstaining from watching things that feel mediocre or poorly written for years, and as a result? I’ve become a serial DNF-er. I’ll start a show or movie, get excited about the premise, and then promptly abandon it when the execution lets me down. Not because I’m pretentious, but because I want  to love it. I want  to be swept away. But when the writing is hollow, the pacing limp, or the production feels like a soulless cash grab—I feel it viscerally. And I mourn what could’ve been. ( Que me furiously writing fanfiction to makeup for soulless writing… ) Case in point: I’m a massive  Addams Family fan. And as a Tim Burton enthusiast, I was cautiously excited for Netflix’s Wednesday . I really wanted to love it. I tried to love it. But I could barely get through the first episode. Something about the tone, the dialogue, the choices, the cringe characters and acting—it just didn’t click. It felt like the aesthetic was there, but the spirit wasn’t. Not to mention, as a die-hard lover of The Addams Family , especially the original black-and-white TV show, the feud between Wednesday and Morticia felt completely unaligned with the canon family dynamic. I’m all for creative liberties—in fact, I welcome them when executed well and done with purpose—but the original premise of the Addamses was a deliberate satire of the “typical” American household: a family that looked macabre on the outside but was, in fact, deeply loving, supportive, and functional in a way that most TV families of the time weren’t. Husbands and wives were adored. Children were encouraged. Neighbors, even though the Addamses didn't understand their normal ways of behaving, were invited in and treated graciously and like royalty. Morticia would die  for her children and support them even if she didn’t always understand them. Morticia would never be threatened by her daughter’s darkness, she’d champion it! ( Addams Family Values  literally hinges on Morticia and Gomez trusting the babysitter’s claim that their kids want to go to summer camp. They don’t second-guess their kids’ desires, they honor them without hesitation.) So to pit Morticia and Wednesday against each other in a cold, antagonistic way felt not just off, it felt disingenuous. It felt deeply out-of-character. Like someone tried to modernize the characters without understanding what made them timeless. These weren’t character evolutions—they were rewrites that stripped away the emotional truth of who these people were. The Addamses have always been weird, but they were also warm, fiercely loyal, and full of unexpected tenderness. What I saw instead were aesthetic replicas: flattened, sanitized versions of the originals, tailor-made for a streaming audience but detached from their original purpose. Characters that were basically hollowed-out versions wearing Addams drag. The emotional beats didn’t land because the characters were out-of-character and no long attached to their core truths. It all just left me feeling like the writer didn’t just take creative liberties… They took shortcuts as well as not doing their homework. The result? Characters that were technically familiar, but emotionally unrecognizable. (And really? Pilgrims  as the villain? Groundbreaking…) Miranda Priestly from the movie The Devil Wears Prada. And that speaks to a broader frustration I’ve been feeling: the not-so-slow decay of storytelling in mainstream media. Fewer writers in the room. More executives in charge. Shrinking budgets. Over-reliance on IP, AI, and CGI. Art shaped by algorithms instead of actual artists. It feels like wonder is being edited out in favor of “content.” But here’s the thing: not everything has to be a masterpiece. And not everything will resonate with everyone. I’m learning (however reluctantly) that it’s okay to let things miss  sometimes. That it’s okay for something to not be “for me.” That doesn’t mean I have to lower my standards. Just that I can make peace with what’s out of my control… There’s still beauty in trying. There’s still value in the attempt . And maybe the real act of creative integrity isn’t just about having high standards—it’s about creating space for wonder, even when it falls short. Let Me Enjoy My Trash in Peace After all that talk of high standards, it’s only fair to say this: I also love trash. And I say that with my whole chest. Not everything I consume needs to be a cinematic masterpiece or a literary triumph. Sometimes, I want something ridiculous. Something predictable. Something deeply unserious. A silly little show with bad wigs and worse dialogue. A fanfic with more tropes than plot. Or a horrifically done movie about a priest who goes to China after losing his parents and inherits a mysterious power that allows him to turn into a "velociraptor." (Velocipastor is such a god-awful and stupid movie, it's so campy BUT IT'S SO GOOD . It's so bad it's good! (in reality it is just trash but I will die on this hill, I think it's hilarious.) You should totally watch it just to hate on it.) And you know what? That’s valid. That’s necessary.  Because while I have a deep love for art that challenges and stretches me, I also need space for stories and media that just let me breathe . Not everything needs to be profound to be pleasurable. Not everything needs to be revolutionary to be fun . Sometimes the joy is  in the cringe, in the mess, in the chaos, and good ol' fashion comedy. And I’m learning to stop justifying that joy to anyone—even myself. So if any of my friends are reading this, don't judge me for my choice of media poison. Let me enjoy my trash in peace. 🫶🗑️✨ Privilege & Boredom Acknowledgment → Side Note:  I want to pause and say this clearly: I recognize the privilege in being able to contemplate boredom, rest, or even media consumption as a choice. Not everyone has the luxury to opt out of hustle culture. For many, rest isn’t radical, it’s simply unavailable. Bills need paying. Kids need feeding. Life demands attention, often at the cost of our own well-being. I’m incredibly fortunate to be in a position where I can even talk about reclaiming my attention, turning off notifications, or giving myself “fifteen minutes of intentional boredom.” That’s a kind of freedom not everyone has and I never want to pretend otherwise. So this reflection isn’t meant as a one-size-fits-all prescription. It’s simply an offering. A meditation. A gentle call back to those of us who do have a bit of space, but have forgotten how to use it. Who’ve mistaken rest for weakness. Who’ve been given freedom, but filled it with noise. Concluding Thoughts God, this post really made me put my attention to the test, hahaha. Which honestly feels a the perfect full-circle moment. Because this whole post wasn't about rejecting media, but to be more present and mindful. To choose intentional consumption  as a form of rebellion and self-care. It’s about remembering that art doesn’t have to be a productivity hack, a background noise, or something you “earn” by finishing your to-do list. Sometimes the most radical thing you can do is sit down, watch a film, read a book, listen to an album and simply enjoy it. Let us feel and be provoked, let us provoke and offer new ways of seeing the world. Be brave to make something that might make someone cry—even if that someone is yourself! Enjoy art and reclaim not just your attention, but your sovereignty. So my two questions to you are:  When was the last time you watched a movie or show for the appreciation and enjoyment of art, not just because you were looking to distract yourself? And what are you watching, or start watching, that actually feeds your soul, not just your algorithm? Let's discuss, I'd love to know your thoughts in the comments below :) “We do not escape into art; we escape into the truth.” — Anaïs Nin. Be intentional, live wisely, love abundantly, and above all, get to art-making! —Bair✍︎ Where epic fantasy meets philosophical ponderings of the self. P.S. If you've gotten this far, I think you would enjoy reading these blog posts: How To See The World Like An Artist (Even If You’ve Never Thought Like One Before) You Are the Story You Tell Yourself | An Existential Take on Why Humans Crave Stories How Writing Has Made Me A Better Person (& How It Can Do The Same For You) References & Further Reading You Need to Be Bored. Here’s Why. (Harvard Business Review) Chris Hayes On The Attention Economy (Volts Podcast) Want to stay up to-date and get exclusive updates and insights on future projects, book launches, writer and reader resources, FREE literature, writing freebies, and a more? Sign up for my Newsletter ! Find more helpful writing tips on the rest of my blog . SUBSCRIBE to the blog on my personal website , Substack , or Medium . Struggling to get your word count in? Check out my writing podcast ! Need a new notebook? Check out my hand-bound books ! Check out My Writer & Reader Merch Store Like this post? Share the link on your social media or pin the image below to your Pinterest board ! Shhh! You found Mosswing sleeping. Don't disturb him🤫

This is going to be a short and sweet blog post, because lately, I’ve been dealing with burnout. So instead of pressuring myself to show up big by writing a post that is a 15min+ read that takes several hours of writing—followed by several more hours of editing and rewriting—I wrote this 5min read post. This post is to remind myself that showing up for myself in small ways is just as important as completing big projects and accomplishing lofty goals. So, instead of a craft deep-dive or worldbuilding essay, I wanted to share something a little more personal. A softer kind of offering. A list of romance tropes I secretly (or not so secretly) adore. Because while I’m not someone who actively seeks out romance novels—and while I’ve read and enjoyed romantasy stories like  Throne of Glass ,  ACOTAR , and  Fourth Wing  (fun fact, I read ToG and ACOTAR years before they exploded on TikTok)—I’m a hopeless romantic at heart. I may not swoon over every love story, but the ones that  get  me? They stay forever. There are popular romance tropes we all know and love—enemies to lovers, friends to lovers, grumpy x sunshine. But today I’m not here to talk about those. I’m here to talk about the unpopular, fly-under-the-radar tropes. The slow burns. The emotionally complex. The ones that make you whisper "just kiss already" to your book at 2am. Here are 8 of my favorites—and the deeper truths they taught me about myself. Table Of Contents The Secret Identity You Make Me Want To Live Again Rivals To Lovers > Enemies To Lovers Freaky Friday, But Make It Romantic Pretend Enemies, Real Feelings I Hate That I Love You I Swear I Kidnapped You For A Good Reason Forced Proximity What These Tropes Taught Me About Myself Closing Thoughts 1. The Secret Identity Love Triangle… With Only Two People Fuuuuuuck. I don't know why but I looooove this trope. It's t he classic identity mess. One loves the other’s normal self. The other loves the alter ego. One hates the alter ego. The other ignores the normal self. It’s messy. It’s delicious. It’s a screaming match with a little bit of destiny and disguise. I love this trope because it turns the whole idea of knowing someone inside and out on its head. It’s all about layers—who we pretend to be, who we actually are, and what it means when someone sees through the performance. There’s something painfully romantic about characters falling in love with different versions of each other, only to realize they were already halfway there the whole time. It’s identity, desire, and longing in a blender—and I’ll never get tired of it. 2. You Made Me Want to Live Again Not “I would die for you” or "I would kill for you" but:  “I didn’t want to live at all… until I met you. And now I want to live. For me. For us. For the sunrise.”   That shit hits me right in the feels. It's devastating, it's raw. It's powerful and transformational. This trope has always resonated with the quiet ache I often explore in my stories—the ache of loneliness, of numbness, of surviving instead of living. There's something deeply moving about love that doesn’t swoop in to save you, but  reminds  you why life is worth saving in the first place. I love when characters gently help each other rebuild the will to exist—not as a savior fantasy, but as something tender and human and real. It's also far more realistic and healthy. 3. Rivals to Lovers > Enemies to Lovers They’re not trying to kill each other. They’re trying to  outdo  each other. It’s mutual drive. Intellectual heat. Sparks disguised as arguments. A perfect match they’re both too proud to admit (until, hopefully, they're not. Until, hopefully, they just want to see the other succeed). I love this trope because it's built on  recognition , not hatred. Unlike enemies to lovers, where attraction often blooms out of trauma or violence, rivals to lovers is rooted in mutual respect—no matter how begrudging. They challenge each other not to survive, but to  be better.  And that kind of growth-driven love? That hits different. It's ambition meeting affection, pride melting into admiration. It's what I hope to genuinely have and find in my own relationships. 4. Freaky Friday, But Make It Romantic Okay, hear me out—I love  a good body swap trope. Maybe it’s the leftover fanfiction nostalgia from my Wattpad era (don’t judge me), but there’s something wildly compelling about two characters waking up in each other’s bodies and having to live  each other’s lives. It’s chaotic. It’s awkward. It’s vulnerable. It’s delicious . But what I really love about this trope isn’t just the comedy or the fish-out-of-water setup—it’s the deeper questions it invites. What does it mean to embody another gender? Another sex? What happens when a character sees the world through someone else’s eyes— literally ? There’s a built-in opportunity for compassion, perspective-shifting, and oh yes… emotional intimacy disguised as mortifying ordeal. And of course, there’s the tension. The “I hate your morning routine” bickering. The accidental moments of care. The way they begin to understand one another from the inside out— before  they’re allowed to fall for each other from the outside in. It’s romantic, ridiculous, philosophical, and sexy in the weirdest, most wonderful way. I love me some Freaky Friday shit. Especially when it ends in a love confession… from the "wrong" body. 5. Pretend Enemies, Real Feelings They want to hate each other. They’re  supposed  to hate each other. They might have even hated each other at first. But somewhere along the line without them realizing, the walls fell away, and now every insult is just a cleverly disguised compliment. Now they must pretend to hate each other to save face. And every argument and potential moment to "annoy" each other is just an excuse to be close.  And when they’re alone… it’s game over. This trope is a masterclass in emotional tension. The characters are fighting the wrong battle—not with each other, but with their own hearts. I love how the desire to resist affection only deepens the attraction. It's not about  enemies  in the traditional sense; it's about people trying not to fall in love, and failing spectacularly. That kind of vulnerability masked as banter? Unmatched. 6. I Hate That I Love You This trope captures the quiet, internal wars we sometimes fight within ourselves. It’s not about whether they love someone new—it’s about whether they’re  ready  to. I’m drawn to stories where grief takes its time, where love arrives gently, and where forgiveness isn’t owed but earned (gimme that slow burn, babyyyyy). There’s something incredibly human about watching a character navigate love not in spite of their loss, but through it and because of it.  The trope of “Loving you means letting go of the one I lost. And I’m not ready for that”   or the " Accepting and acknowledging this love for you means I've already started to move on from someone I'm not ready to let go of yet " eats me UP . It's emotionally devastating in the best way. It's the kind of story that leaves the reader changed as well. Because it's coming to terms with truths you may or may not be ready to face or even handle. And so it comes out in vicious ways because the character doesn't know any better, but they're doing the best they can with where they're at. The hate isn’t real—it’s grief, guilt, fear. But the love is real. And so is the healing. 7. The "I Swear I Kidnapped You For a Good Reason, Plz Don't Hate Me. It Was to Protect You—And I Couldn’t Tell You Until You Trusted Me" Trope I'll admit it up front, this trope is a little fucked up… but it scratches a very specific itch for me—it’s mythic, symbolic, and filled with restrained emotion. The inability to tell the truth unless trust is earned feels like a love story forged by fate. It puts emphasis on  action over explanation , trust over coercion, and creates space for one of my favorite narrative arcs: when care is offered even in the face of rejection. There’s something beautiful and brutal about love that waits quietly to be understood. A curse. A spell. A divine rule. The captor can't explain why. The captee resents them. But the captor's every action is rooted in love—and once the truth comes out, it’s devastating and beautiful. It’s morally grey. It’s magically tragic. And it's fucked up but I love it anyways. 8. We Were Raised to Hate Each Other, But Now We See The Lies Fed To Us About The Other Side Enemies by birthright. But the war? The divide? It was built on lies. And now they’re uncovering the truth together. Letting go of the past. And maybe… falling in love while they rebuild what was broken. This trope speaks to the possibility of healing in the wake of deep generational pain. I love when characters unlearn what they've been taught, when they realize their enemy isn't a person, but a system or belief they never questioned or had been indoctrinated with. The love story becomes not just about romance, but about reclaiming their agency, their history, and their future. It's cathartic, rebellious, and profoundly tender. 9. Forced Proximity: "I Don’t Even Like You, But We’re Stuck Together" Forced proximity is definitely not a rare trope, but as I was thinking of tropes I genuinely like, I realized this was one of the more mainstream tropes I do enjoy reading. So whether two characters are chained together, shipwrecked and marooned on an island, sharing a room, bound by magic or obligation, I will never tire of this trope. Especially if its paired with the "I hate your guts" trope. It's so good to see the characters get on each other's nerves for entertainment value… until that annoyance becomes fondness. And fondness becomes  oh shit, I caught feelings. I love how this trope forces characters to drop their facades. With nowhere to run, they have to face each other—awkward silences, petty arguments, quiet acts of care and all. It breeds intimacy in unexpected ways, making small moments feel seismic. Forced proximity isn’t just about tension; it’s about closeness without escape, which often reveals what the characters (and the reader) didn’t realize they needed. What These Tropes Taught Me About Myself When I sat down to write this post, I thought I was just talking about tropes I liked. But looking back… there’s a pattern. A truth beneath the fiction. These tropes all reflect something deeper I crave in stories, and maybe in life: love that’s built through trust, not grand gestures; emotional intimacy that unfolds before physical closeness; the slow, aching unraveling of false truths; the choice to grow instead of clinging to power; and the deep, often painful ache of wanting to belong even when you feel unworthy. And this is why I write, because writing helps me understand myself and the world at large. This is why I write fiction and non-fiction. Because all types of writing can lead to beautiful discoveries and fun rabbit holes. Closing Thoughts I didn’t sit down to write something polished today because I’m dealing with burnout—the kind that leaves you feeling hollow but still craving connection. So this post was my small way of showing up anyway. Not with something epic or perfect, but with something real. I thought I was just rambling about tropes I liked. But as I kept going, I realized these stories all speak to the parts of me that still want to believe in gentleness, emotional truth, and in love that doesn’t demand performance, but invites healing. So if you resonated with any of these, welcome. You’re in good company. We’re all just looking for stories that help us feel a little less alone. Thanks for reading. I hope you were kind to yourself today. See you in the next blog~ —Bair✍︎ Where epic fantasy meets philosophical ponderings of the self. Want to stay up to-date and get exclusive updates and insights on future projects, book launches, writer and reader resources, FREE literature, writing freebies, and a more? Sign up for my Newsletter ! Find more helpful writing tips on the rest of my blog . SUBSCRIBE to the blog on my personal website , Substack , or Medium . Struggling to get your word count in? Check out my writing podcast ! Need a new notebook? Check out my hand-bound books ! Support the blog on Ko-fi ! 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Greetings, dear reader! Have you ever felt like your fantasy cultures just aren’t… hitting right? You’ve got the maps, the names, the magic, the dragons—but somehow, it still feels like “the modern day, but with swords.” Western values like individualism, personal freedom, and binary morality somehow sneak into your stories almost by default, even when you’re trying to be inventive and subversive. You’re not alone. I’ve done that too. Most of us are raised with cultural assumptions we don’t even question until they show up in our fiction—and as writers, we bring our cultural lenses into everything we create. Often, we don’t even realize we’re doing it. It wasn’t until I started listening to Sapiens  by Yuval Noah Harari that I realized I was letting many Western values sneak into my worldbuilding. Harari spoke about how different cultures define “truth,” “value,” and even “reality” in radically different ways—and how we often don’t realize how deeply our assumptions are shaped by the cultures we were raised in. That hit hard. Because as a writer and worldbuilder, I want my fictional cultures to feel real, lived-in, and different —but I realized much of my own worldbuilding was still deeply entrenched in Western norms and values. And as I've become more and more committed to building immersive worlds that felt distinct and real,  I realized I had to confront several of those unconscious biases. Because here’s the thing: if we don’t question the assumptions we’ve absorbed, our fantasy cultures can end up feeling… Well… not that different from our own world. They risk reading like “Western society but with swords,” or “modern values in medieval clothing.” And readers notice. They may not consciously know why a world feels flat or unconvincing—but they feel it. I know. I’ve been one of those readers. So if you want to create rich, believable cultures that genuinely transport your readers, one of the most powerful things you can do is step outside Western norms and imagine other ways of seeing the world. In this post, I want to show you how I caught myself falling into that exact trap—and how I started unlearning my Western defaults to build fictional societies from the inside out, ones that feel real, rooted, and radically different. Table Of Contents How To Spot Unconscious Bias In Your Worldbuilding Why It Matter In Your Worldbuilding Deep Dive: Western Values To Watch For Check Your Racism At The Door A Personal Example & Examination 5 Core Foundations For Building Fictional Cultures Permission To Get Messy Writing Exercises Writing FREEBIE: Worldbuilding Worksheet Concluding Thoughts How to Spot Unconscious Biases in Your Worldbuilding Before we talk about how to break free of Western norms, we need to know what they look like when they quietly creep into our stories. Start by asking questions like: Who holds power in your world, and why? If it's always inherited through bloodlines or granted by divine prophecy, you might be echoing the Western ideal of destiny and inherited greatness. If your characters are praised for “breaking free” from family expectations to “be their true selves,” you’re leaning into individualism—a cornerstone of modern Western thought. Consider how morality works in your culture: is it a binary of good vs evil, or something more relational like shame, honor, or balance? What does family look like—are they nuclear units, or large extended or chosen collectives? And lastly, think about space: do your characters all have private rooms, personal property, and a high regard for solitude? If so, that may say more about our world than theirs. These biases aren't bad—but recognizing them is the first step to writing cultures that feel like their own living systems, not echoes of our own. Which beautifully leads us into our next point. Why This Matters in Worldbuilding As I shared in the introduction, I've been one of those readers who could sense when something felt  off  in a story’s worldbuilding. Sometimes a fantasy world just reads like Western society but with magic. Other times, it’s modern values dressed up in appropriated non-Western aesthetics . Like I mentioned earlier from Sapiens , o ne moment in that really stuck with me was when Harari described how, in feudal Europe, even the son of a lord didn’t have his own room. Personal space and privacy weren’t yet valued the way we understand them today—because those concepts hadn’t fully formed yet. So when we write medieval-inspired societies where every character has their own chamber or en suite bath, it reveals more about our current expectations than the logic of the fictional world. (Also, can we please continue moving away from having fantasy's default setting be medieval Europe? Is anyone else over that? Because I sure am…) One example that stuck with me was  Throne of Glass  by Sarah J. Maas. I haven’t read it in years, but I remember democracy being randomly introduced even though Aelin was becoming queen. It felt more like something added to appease the audience than something that naturally evolved from within the world. That kind of dissonance pulls readers out of a story. It doesn’t feel woven into the fabric of the world. There’s no real political, cultural, or historical context to support it. It’s less about how her world works—and more about how the author wants us to view her . The moment reads less like a believable act of leadership and more like a way to crown her as morally superior. Contrast that with The Stormlight Archive by Brandon Sanderson, where Jasnah Kholin proposes democracy in a way that feels earned . It’s not a throwaway line and she doesn’t just decree it out of nowhere—it’s the culmination of her arc as a scholar, a leader, and a woman who has seen the consequences of absolute power; a queen who has witnessed the failures of monarchy firsthand. The moment is grounded in the history of her world, the philosophy she studies, and the political instability she inherits. It doesn’t feel performative. It feels inevitable—like a worldview that grew out of the soil of the story itself. It’s a logical outcome of everything we’ve seen her study, believe, and struggle through. Now, this isn’t about criticizing one author or book—it’s about pointing out the difference between a narrative decision that emerges organically from world logic and one that’s inserted for applause. If your world has echoes of Western structures, that’s fine—but they should be questioned, grounded, and challenged. Not inserted to signal virtue. Authentic worldbuilding means understanding what values your fictional cultures  hold—not just the ones you as a writer want to signal to readers. Because w hen worldbuilding choices feel unearned, when systems and values exist in a world just to mirror our own ideals, it doesn’t just weaken immersion. It undermines the internal logic of the world. Cultures don’t evolve to be politically correct. They evolve through belief, survival, myth, power, and necessity. If your story ignores that, the world starts to feel like a backdrop rather than a living, breathing culture. Also also—and I mean this with love, and I hope it's not just me—I’m honestly so tired of the same old trope of "patriarchy oppresses women" as the only form of gender-based worldbuilding. If someone is going to the lengths of writing a novel where society hates women, can it at least be original? Instead of falling into the common trap of “subverting” patriarchy by creating matriarchies where women act exactly like men in power—cold, militaristic, dominating, or emotionally detached—can we please have a world where femininity is powerful in ways that aren’t just masculine aggression with a new paint job? Because it’s not really a flipped worldview. It’s just role reversal. A cheap, low effort role reversal. Don’t take the lazy way out . Have more integrity. Please, for the love of the writing goddesses and gods, please have integrity when you write. If you're going to hate women, hate us for… I don't know… Our  lack  of nose hairs. Make fun of us for not looking  old enough . Make fun of us for our breasts not being saggy enough . Just g et creative. Otherwise, it just feels uninspired, and people will get bored of the same old regurgitated crap we've been force-fed for decades. De ep Dive: Western Values to Watch For The following values often show up in fantasy worldbuilding, not because they belong there, but because they’ve been absorbed so deeply into the Western psyche that they feel “normal.” But they’re not universal. Here are some common assumptions to keep an eye on as you build your fictional societies: Individualism (“Follow your dreams! Be yourself!”) Western culture often prioritizes the individual over the group. In many non-Western or pre-modern societies, community, duty, or family takes precedence. A fantasy world may value harmony over uniqueness—or shame deviance rather than celebrate it. Achievement-Based Value (“You are what you accomplish.”) Tied to capitalism and modern productivity culture, this mindset measures a person’s worth by success. In other systems, worth might come from age, ancestry, generosity, or spiritual insight. Binary Morality (“Good vs Evil”) Western storytelling often frames morality as black and white. But many cultures view right and wrong as situational, relational, or fluid—based on harmony, shame, honor, or spiritual imbalance. Private Property & Public/Private Separation Western societies highly value personal space, ownership, and the division between public and private life. In other cultures, space is shared communally, and boundaries between “mine” and “ours” may not exist. Nuclear Family Units (2 parents, 2.5 kids) This family structure is not the default everywhere. Many cultures function through extended families, matrilineal clans, multigenerational homes, or even chosen families. Linear Time & Progression Western thinking often imagines time as a straight line toward improvement. But many societies view time as cyclical, ancestral, or based on seasons and natural rhythms. Meritocracy The idea that hard work equals success sounds fair—but often ignores structural privilege. Other cultures might measure status by lineage, age, reputation, or divine favor. Equality = Sameness Treating everyone “the same” is a Western liberal ideal. Other cultures may value fairness as respecting roles, hierarchies, or balance, not flattening difference. Written Law Over Oral Tradition Western societies rely on written rules, contracts, and documentation. In others, knowledge and agreements may live in oral history, ceremony, or communal memory. Rationalism Over Intuition The West prizes logic, science, and observable fact as the best way to know truth. But intuition, dreams, emotion, or divination are valid forms of knowledge in many traditions. Work as Identity Western cultures tend to link identity to productivity. “What do you do?” becomes “Who are you?” In other societies, identity may be relational or spiritual, not task-based. Control Over Nature The Western worldview often separates humans from nature—and sees the natural world as something to conquer. Other cultures see humans as part of, or even subordinate to, the natural world. Secularism as Neutral Many Western systems consider separation of religion and state as “neutral.” But other societies view spirituality as inseparable from politics, law, and daily life. Child-Centric Societies Western norms often prioritize the child’s feelings and development. In other cultures, children are expected to conform to the needs of the family or community, not the other way around. Forgiveness as Virtue Western values place heavy emphasis on individual forgiveness and personal healing. Other systems may prize restitution, public apology, shame, or restoring balance with the group. Recognizing these patterns in your writing is not about shame—it’s about awareness. Once you see them, you can choose to keep, reshape, or reject them to serve your story’s logic and heart. Because n one of these are  universal truths.  They're simply one way of structuring society—and often a very recent one, historically speaking. If we never question them, we end up copying our world in disguise. Our fantasy kingdoms begin to feel suspiciously like modern-day Western democracies, just with dragons and dirt roads. Readers  can feel  when something is off, even if they can’t articulate why. If all your cultures reflect your default worldview, you’re not building a world—you’re just mirroring what you know. The more we break free of those inherited patterns, the more unique and compelling our invented worlds become. Check Your Unconscious Racism at the Door Another trap to watch for? Writers often borrow from non-Western cultures—whether it’s East Asian aesthetics, Indigenous symbolism, Middle Eastern architecture, or African spiritual systems. But too often, the values  of those cultures get erased and replaced with Western ideals. And here’s the thing: you can’t just slap democracy on a kimono and call it worldbuilding. This happens when writers try to make their fictional cultures “better” by making them more Western—individualist, secular, egalitarian, rationalist. They “fix” honor-based societies by adding gender equality, or “improve” spiritual traditions by removing mysticism in favor of logic. Stop Western-washing your fictional cultures. This isn’t just lazy—it’s quietly supremacist. It implies that a culture isn’t valid until it resembles modern liberal Western values. But your world isn’t better because it’s whiter—or more American. A collectivist society that values harmony and shame isn’t “backward.” A religious kingdom that fuses law and faith isn’t “unfree.” A hierarchical society with rigid roles isn’t “oppressive” just because you wouldn’t want to live there. Are you writing a culture—or decorating with it? If you’re borrowing architecture, fabrics, foods, and names—but erasing the systems of thought, belief, and social cohesion they come from—that’s not worldbuilding. That’s exoticism. Exotic isn’t a personality trait. None of this means you can’t be inspired by other cultures. But if you’re going to borrow, do it with humility, research, and imagination. Worldbuilding without supremacy means letting cultures be complicated.  At best, it’s lazy. At worst, it’s racist. Because it implies that the culture you borrowed from isn’t complete, logical, or moral unless it conforms to Western values. Your fictional culture doesn’t need to be sanitized to be meaningful. Let them contradict your own values. Let them disturb you. Let them be themselves. A Personal Example: A Rethinking of a Personal Worldbuilding Project In the novel I'm currently writing, The Glass Dagger , there exists a country called Ayvara that is a matriarchal society that follows the teachings of a divine being known as The Great Mother. Coming from a Western democratic, liberal upbringing, my instinct was to imagine this society as pro-choice and individually autonomous—especially for women. But then I asked: what if it wasn’t? What if their values evolved in a direction completely foreign to mine? What if motherhood was considered the highest calling of a woman’s life? What if giving up a child—or refusing to bear one—was not just taboo, but shameful or spiritually dishonorable? That completely reframes how people view freedom, identity, and womanhood in this society. Here’s where I think a lot of writers and worldbuilders fall into a trap: instead of creating cultures with unique belief systems and internal logic, they simply flip the script on familiar structures. They build something that looks different on the surface—but underneath, it’s just the same system with new labels. It’s not really innovation. Again, that's just cheap, low effort, role reversal. I didn’t want that. Instead of defaulting to the trope, I pushed myself further. I wanted Ayvara to grow from its own sacred soil, not from a mirrored reaction to ours. That led me to ask deeper questions—especially around a current hot topic in our world: gender and sexuality. What if woman-to-woman love was considered sacred—the most divine form of love, like how man-on-man love was considered the highest form of love in Ancient Roman society. What if woman-to-man love is normal, healthy, and widely accepted, but man-to-man love is seen as strange and unbecoming—not outlawed, but socially awkward. What if trans women (AMAB individuals who identify as women) are completely accepted, even revered. But a woman wanting to transition into a man? That’s seen as deeply concerning and unnatural. In Ayvara, men are seen as lesser—not hated, but unnecessary. The culture doesn’t understand how pregnancy works on a biological level, so they assume women create life on their own, and men are only useful for labor and war due to their natural aggression. Male bodies are seen as more volatile, and therefore more expendable. In this framework, masculinity is useful—but not sacred. Is this politically correct? Not at all. Is it narratively interesting, thought-provoking, and an honest exploration of what a matriarchal, goddess-centered society might  actually  look like without projecting modern feminist values onto it? Yes. It may be uncomfortable, but that discomfort is where the magic starts. And that’s why I love worldbuilding. It’s one giant thought experiment that leads you down fun, beautiful, uncomfortable, and radically creative tangents. The farther you let a culture drift from what you know, the more vividly it reveals itself. And this isn’t just fiction. We’ve seen this exact kind of narrative distortion play out in our own world… It reminds me of how certain groups in real-world history have been dehumanized through fabricated narratives. In the United States, for example, false beliefs about Black people being intellectually or morally inferior were used to justify slavery—and those same beliefs were then reinforced through laws, education, and systemic exclusion. These myths weren’t just harmful; they became structural, generational, and in many cases, internalized. So what if something similar happened in Ayvara? What if the belief that men are less emotionally capable began as a sacred myth, then slowly hardened into social fact? What if that belief began shaping everything from temple access to public perception to policy? What kind of stories could emerge from that? What parallels could I draw—deliberately or not—to the real trials and tribulations people continue to face in our world? This is where your world can start doing real narrative work. Because stories like these aren’t written to make readers comfortable. They're written because something needs to be said and discussed. Because when belief systems have consequences, when myths turn into policy, and when power justifies itself through story—you don’t just have a fantasy setting. You have a living, breathing society. And that’s when worldbuilding starts to matter. It gives us a way to reframe reality, to ask what if and why not. It lets us explore truths that are too heavy, too charged, or too complex to confront head-on. I’m not writing Ayvara to preach—I’m writing it to ask questions I, and many societies, don’t yet have the answers to. Rethinking Culture from the Roots Up: 5 Core Foundations For Building Cultures If you want your cultures to feel immersive, you need to build them from their core values outward—not just from vibes and visuals. A culture isn’t just clothing, language, or architecture. It’s a whole worldview shaped by what a society holds sacred, what it fears, and how it survives. Below are five foundational dimensions to help you start rethinking culture from the roots up. Stop copy-pasting Earth with new names and call it worldbuilding. This is where you build something that actually feels  alive. 1. Family Structure & Kinship Who belongs to a household? Nuclear, extended, clan-based? Who holds power and honor? What do parent-child dynamics look like? Is marriage romantic, political, spiritual, or optional? Do families form based on love, survival, or duty? 2. Self vs Society Are people expected to stand out—or to belong? What’s more valued: personal choice or fulfilling your role? What does success look like in this culture? Is obedience a virtue or a vice? How are outsiders treated? 3. Morality & Values Where do values come from? Religion, tradition, collective need? Is morality binary (good/evil) or relational (dishonor, imbalance, shame)? (Many of these binaries are rooted in Judeo-Christian traditions, whether we realize it or not) How are sins/errors interpreted? What is forgiveness? Are there moral expectations by caste, gender, or age? 4. Built Environment / Architecture How do values shape physical space? Are homes private fortresses or open hubs? Do people sleep communally? Is it normal to share a bed without it being romantic? (*coughs* ahem … looking at you “ there was only ONE bed! ” trope…) Are sacred and mundane spaces integrated or separated? What’s at the center of the home—fire, shrine, hearth, ancestor wall? 5. Religion & Daily Life Are rituals part of everyday habits (eating, bathing, working)? Are certain seasons, foods, or life stages considered sacred? Is religion private, political, or deeply woven into law and custom? How do people interact with spiritual power: through prayer, dance, silence, sacrifice? These questions aren’t a checklist—they’re starting points for deeper creation. Let them challenge you. Let them lead you somewhere unfamiliar. And if you’re ready to go further, I’ve put together a free worksheet that expands on each of these five foundations with prompts, examples, and exercises to guide you step-by-step. Your world deserves that kind of care. So does your reader. Permission To Get Messy If you’re feeling bold: it’s okay if not everything in your world is comfortable, progressive, or “politically correct.” Real cultures have contradictions. Real people are messy. Your fictional societies don’t need to reflect your personal ideals. In fact, the most compelling worlds often challenge you as their creator. Let your characters wrestle with cultural norms. Let your societies surprise you. You’re not writing propaganda—you’re writing a world. Don’t create harm thoughtlessly—but do lean into the weird, the wrong, and the culturally complex. It’s how you move beyond flat, one-dimensional societies and into something unforgettable. And even if you didn’t grow up religious, it’s worth remembering that much of Western thought—especially around good vs evil, sin, virtue, and redemption—is steeped in Christian (and especially Protestant) frameworks. This doesn’t make them wrong, but it does mean they aren’t neutral or universal. Other cultures may define morality in terms of balance, honor, shame, or reciprocity instead. Don’t be afraid to make your readers uncomfortable. That’s the beauty of fiction—it’s meant to transcend, to challenge, to soothe and to provoke. Good books do that. If a reader shames you for questioning the status quo or exploring something taboo, that says more about them than it does about you. That said… If you’re being intentionally racist? I will gladly stand with your readers in shaming you. That shit doesn’t belong anywhere, least of all in a world you’re creating from scratch (unless that is the topic and theme you’re specifically tackling within your book). Writing Exercises: Building Beyond The Defaults So, how do you start building cultures that feel grounded, distinct, and free of your own unconscious defaults? The first step is asking better questions—and being willing to follow the answers into unfamiliar territory. If you’re ready to reimagine your cultures through a new lens, here are a few short exercises to get started: Exercise 1: Flip a Sacred Value Choose one value your current fictional society holds (e.g., freedom, love, honor). Now ask: What if this value was  shameful  instead of celebrated? What if the opposite was considered sacred? Exercise 2: Reframe a Common Trope Take a familiar scene: someone visiting a friend’s home, a coming-of-age ritual, or a wedding. How would this look in a society that doesn’t value privacy, romance, or individual identity? Could guests share a bed without it being taboo? Would marriage even be between two people—or entire families? Exercise 3: Design a Room Based on Values Imagine the layout of a home in your world. What’s at the center: a hearth? a shrine? a water basin? Are there walls and doors, or open shared spaces? Who sleeps where—and why? Exercise 4: Thought Experiment: Stranger in a Strange Land Take one of your characters and drop them into a culture completely foreign to them. What shocks them? What comforts them unexpectedly? What assumption of theirs gets challenged? Write a 300 word scene of cultural friction —or connection. Practical Tips to Break Free from Western Defaults Start with the sacred:  What does this culture revere above all? What do they fear losing? Question your assumptions:  Is privacy really a universal desire? What if obedience is a virtue? Use cultural contrasts:  How would someone from this world see our world? What would they find strange? Reflect values in space:  Let architecture, rituals, and body language show what matters. Let contradictions exist:  Not everything has to “make sense” by your standards, just theirs. Free Worldbuilding Worksheet Want to dive deeper? I created a  free worksheet  to help you build immersive cultures step by step—without defaulting to Western assumptions. It includes reflection prompts, design checklists, and space to experiment with values, rituals, and systems. Get it sent straight to your inbox when you sign up for my newsletter . Or, if you’re already a member, head to the Members Area to download it now! Concluding Thoughts Worldbuilding isn’t merely about making cool settings; it’s about delving into the essence of existence within those realms. It’s an exploration of values, sacrifices, and beliefs that define societies. And when you stop defaulting to the world you know, you open yourself up to worlds that surprise you—worlds that challenge your own assumptions, and maybe even reveal some truth about the one we’re living in. That’s the power of storytelling. That’s why we build. By stepping beyond our familiar paradigms, we unlock the potential to create worlds that challenge perceptions and reflect profound truths about our own. As J.R.R. Tolkien once articulated: The mind that thought of light, heavy, grey, yellow, still, swift also conceived of magic that would make heavy things light and able to fly, turn grey lead into yellow gold, and the still rock into a swift water. If it could do the one, it could do the other; it inevitably did both. When we can take green from grass, blue from heaven, and red from blood, we have already an enchanter's power. This sentiment underscores the depth and intentionality behind immersive worldbuilding. So, as you embark on your creative journey, remember: the worlds you build have the power to illuminate, challenge, and transform.  Now I want to know… What’s a cultural assumption you caught yourself making while worldbuilding? Let’s chat in the comments! Happy worldbuilding! —Bair✍︎ Want to stay up to-date and get exclusive updates and insights on future projects, book launches, writer and reader resources, FREE literature, writing freebies, and a more? Sign up for my Newsletter ! Find more helpful writing tips on the rest of my blog . SUBSCRIBE to the blog on my personal website , Substack , or Medium . Struggling to get your word count in? Check out my writing podcast ! Need a new notebook? Check out my hand-bound books ! Support the blog on Ko-fi ! 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Upcoming Debut! EPIC FANTASY | THRILLER | ROMANCE When his lover is mysteriously kidnapped, a young blacksmith apprentice thrusts himself into a world of magik and intrigue to find her. Uncertainty lies around every corner, and people are not what they seem, so when he learns a sinister truth about her kidnapper—and what they have planned for the world—he must stop them before they condemn his world to a fate worse than death. learn more Who Is ? Bair Klos was born in spring of 2001 in Boston, Massachusetts. Before she could write her ABC's, Bair has been a storyteller. Her earliest memories of storytelling are from when she would sneak into her mother's purse and drawing in the empty pages of her mother's notebooks—usually consisting of mermaids, dinosaurs, and beloved movie characters. About Me Current Projects EPIC FANTASY | THRILLER | ROMANCE When his lover is mysteriously kidnapped, a young blacksmith apprentice thrusts himself into a world of magik and intrigue to find her. Uncertainty lies around every corner, and people are not what they seem, so when he learns a sinister truth about her kidnapper—and what they have planned for the world—he must stop them before they condemn his world to a fate worse than death. learn more Explore The World Of Ouranos Dive into the colorful world of Ouranos and meet cultures of distant, foreign lands, discover rich historied religions, and towns and cities filled with people of intrigue and mystery. The Glass Dagger Learn More. Storm Born More info to come. From Under The Willow Tree More info to come. The False Queen More info to come. The Ash Bride Series More info to come. LISTEN NOW WHERE YOU GET YOUR PODCASTS Writing Podcast Join Kimberly D. Herbstritt and Bair Klos as they host the Two Tired Writers Podcast. Listeners are encouraged to 'write-along' and hit their word count for the day. Each episode we respond to a prompt of either our choosing or yours, the listeners. Currently the Two Tired Writers Podcast is on hold until further notice. But the past episodes are available to listen to on anywhere you get podcasts. Learn More Featured Blog Posts You Are the Story You Tell Yourself | An Existential Take on Why Humans Crave Stories An existential look at why humans are biologically wired for stories—and how storytelling shapes our experience of time, memory, and identity. Stories aren’t just entertainment; they are how we survive the flickering instability of consciousness itself, weaving meaning into the chaos of existence. Discover why storytelling is not a luxury, but a deep and necessary part of being human. Life & Book Updates Apr 29 6 min read How Writing Has Made Me A Better Person (& How It Can Do The Same For You) Writing didn’t just save me—it shaped me. It taught me patience, empathy, and how to face myself one word at a time. Writer Rants & Reflective Essays Mar 24 5 min read How To See The World Like An Artist (Even If You’ve Never Thought Like One Before) You’ve had a moment where the world felt cinematic. Seeing like an artist means waking up to beauty, depth, and hidden stories everywhere. How-To's Mar 14 7 min read 1 2 3 4 MEET BAIR about me Bair Klos is a New Adult, fantasy author, podcaster , blogger , and avid worldbuilder from Boston. GET SOCIAL CATEGORIES Writing Blog Recently Read Writer Resources Recommended Reads BOOKWYRM MERCH & GIFT SHOP Join the Bookwyrm Club! Shop merch for the caffeine-addicted reader or writer in your life Shop The Hoard

Latest Project The Glass Dagger Learn More POETRY & SHORTS Matryoshka Poetry i love you two Finding Home Books Fiction Fantasy Romance Non-Fiction Coming Soon Short Stories Finding Home Poetry i love you two Fantasy Projects Explore The World of Ouranos The Glass Dagger The Ash Bride Series Storm Born From Under The Willow Tree The False Queen Fiction Projects Anchor Poetry & Shorts Anchor Romance Projects Just Friends Duology Book 1 Just Friends Duology Book 2 Non-Fiction Books Beginner Guide To An Elegant Wardrobe Short Stories TELL Magazine Spring 2024 Love Edition Poetry TELL Magazine Fall 2023 Connection Edition

Introduction Introduction The Glass Dagger © RELATED CONTENT Become A Beta-Reader The Glass Dagger Map The Glass Dagger Blogs The Glass Dagger Deleted Scenes Coming Soon The Glass Dagger Sample Chapters Coming Soon Inspiration Behind The Idea About The Author Blurb When his lover is mysteriously kidnapped, a young blacksmith apprentice thrusts himself into a world of magik and intrigue to find her. Uncertainty lies around every corner, and people are not what they seem, so when he learns a sinister truth about her kidnapper—and what they have planned for the world—he must stop them before they condemn his world to a fate worse than death. Synopsis EPIC FANTASY | THRILLER | ROMANCE In the forsaken fishing village of Tyrwe, Kyl Eisele, a mute and illiterate blacksmith apprentice, yearns for more beyond his small and isolated village. But living in a village where perception defines your very existence, Kyl finds himself financially and socially bankrupt—overlooked, undervalued, and relegated to the shadows. So when he finds himself waking in the stables of the noble household he is supposed to be attending, he finds himself ill-prepared for the fateful meeting of Aelyria Moiral—Daughter Heir of said noble household, whose family is akin to royalty in Tyrwe. Feeling as though he’s been caught with his pants down, and with nothing to lose, Kyl strikes a bargain, beginning an unlikely friendship. But as their relationship deepens into an even unlikelier romance, Kyl finds himself enthralled by Aelyria’s intelligence and her tantalizing, potentially dangerous, secret. So when she is mysteriously kidnapped without a trace—his only clue a strange glass dagger of mystifying origin—Kyl sets off after her, swearing he will not rest until she is found. Meanwhile, from the dawn of human existence, in the realm of the divine where emotions are a foreign concept—an enigma best left to the mortal coil—one deity finds themselves inextricably drawn to the peculiarity of human life; captivated by the very emotions they, themself, cannot feel. As curiosity deepens into obsession, the ways of humans is too tantalizing to resist, and the deity finds themselves entangled within the lives of mortals, forever changing the trajectory of mortal-kind. But doing so draws the attention of a divine nemesis who views mortals as a blight. The perilous journey ahead will lead the apprentice to a destiny intertwined with divinity, uncover knowledge from a long dead ancient civilization, and befriend unlikely people: an enterprising young princess, a powerful shapeshifter, and a mysterious ship captain who harbors a secret that may just be the key to finding Aelyria. So as Kyl discovers the kidnappers’ actions are rooted in a millennia-old conflict that could threaten to end his world as he knows it, he must confront the limits of human mortality and the true power of the glass dagger. But where does Aelyria stand in it all? And can he save her, and his world, before it's too late? “The Glass Dagger” is a gripping fantasy adventure, rich with immersive world building, that weaves a tale of discovery, betrayal, self-acceptance, and the profound meaning behind the mortal condition and human mortality. Fans of The Stormlight Archive, The Wheel of Time, Earthsea, and Tolkien will enjoy this epic tale of battling gods and strength of the human heart. See More Projects World Map TGD Map