4 Signs You’re a Purple Writer (& How to Dial It Back Before Your Prose Becomes a Floral Monstrosity)
- Bair Klos
- Feb 26
- 5 min read
Are You Writing? Or Weaving Verbal Tapestries?
Some writers tell a story. Others paint it in lush, sprawling brushstrokes that make even a sunset blush... in secondhand embarrassment. If you’ve ever described a “verdant cascade of emerald-hued foliage swaying like the whisper of forgotten gods,” when you really just meant “the leaves rustled in the wind”—congratulations! You might be a Purple Writer.
Purple writing is like adding too much seasoning to a dish. A sprinkle of poetic prose? Delicious. But drown your story in it, and suddenly no one can taste the actual plot. So, how do you know if your writing is drenched in literary lavender? Here are four telltale signs.
4 Signs You’re a Purple Writer (& How to Dial It Back Before Your Prose Becomes a Floral Monstrosity)
1.) You Have a Deep, Unrelenting Love for Thesaurus.com
A good writer knows the power of a well-placed word. A purple writer treats the thesaurus like a divine text, consulting it religiously to avoid using anything as pedestrian as “sad.” Why say sad when you could say “drenched in melancholic despair, adrift in a sea of sorrow, bereft of all joy, consumed by the abyss of existential ruin”?
If your writing sessions involve spending thirty minutes hunting for the perfect synonym for “blue,” (I'm definitely not guilty of this... not me, def not me..*sips tea loudly*) you may be engaging in unnecessary verbal gymnastics. Simplicity isn’t a crime. Your readers will still get the picture if the sky is just… blue.
2.) Your Sentences Are Long Enough to Qualify as a Marathon
A single, beautiful, poetic sentence can be breathtaking. But if one of your paragraphs contains exactly one period, and it stretches across half a page, filled with ellipses, commas, em dashes, and enough subclauses to make Charles Dickens shake in his boots, then you might be a purple writer.
Sure, the rhythm and flow of a long, descriptive passage can be mesmerizing, but if your readers need a Sherpa and a breathing exercise to get through one sentence, you might want to rein it in. Let your words breathe. Shorter sentences can hit just as hard.
3.) Your Characters Don’t Speak Like Human Beings
Imagine a simple exchange:
→ Regular dialogue:
“I’m cold,” she said, shivering.
“Here,” he replied, tossing her his jacket.
→ Purple writer dialogue:
“Alas, a frigid specter clutches at my bones, whispering cruel nothings of winter’s unrelenting grasp,” she lamented, her breath unfurling in ephemeral wisps of frost.
“Then take this, fairest maiden, lest the abyss of chill claims thee as its own,” he murmured, draping his cloak upon her quivering shoulders like a knight of yore bestowing divine protection.
… If your characters sound like Shakespearean ghosts at all times, you may have a problem. Readers want characters who feel real—not like they’re auditioning for a Renaissance faire.
Dialogue should sound natural, even in fantasy. If you wouldn’t say it in a casual conversation without getting weird looks, your character probably shouldn’t either—unless they’re the kind of person who would talk like a walking thesaurus (in which case, congratulations, you’ve created a truly unique character). Otherwise, let them breathe! Give them personality, rhythm, and an authentic voice, not just layers of overwrought poetry.
4.) You Describe Everything… Even When It’s Not Important
Does your writing take three paragraphs to describe the color, texture, and tragic backstory of a side character’s cloak, even though they only appear in one scene? Do your action sequences pause for a full page of internal monologue about the emotional significance of a battle stance?
Purple writers sometimes forget that not everything needs to be artfully adorned in adjectives and metaphors. Not every door needs to be “an ancient portal of splintered mahogany whispering tales of forgotten hands.”Sometimes, it’s just… a door.
When Purple Writing Becomes Too Much
There’s nothing wrong with beautiful prose—in fact, poetic descriptions can elevate a story! But when your writing gets in the way of clarity, pacing, or emotional impact, it’s time to dial it back.
Readers want to be immersed in a story, not drowning in it. If they have to reread a sentence three times to figure out what’s actually happening, your story might be suffocating under all those adjectives.
How to Fix It (Without Losing Your Style!)
Ask yourself: Does this sentence serve the story? If it doesn’t push the plot, develop the character, or enhance the mood, cut it.
Read it out loud. If you’re out of breath before the sentence ends, it’s probably too long.
Swap two poetic lines for one sharp, impactful one. Sometimes, less is more.
Use purple prose intentionally. A little flourish in emotional moments? Beautiful. All the time? Exhausting.
Concluding Thoughts
The best writing strikes a balance—a touch of beauty, a dash of simplicity, and a whole lot of clarity. As Antoine de Saint-Exupéry said:
“Perfection is attained not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing more to take away.”
Great writing isn’t about stuffing as many adjectives and metaphors as possible into a sentence—it’s about making every word count. So, whether you’re a recovering purple writer or proudly reveling in your literary flourishes, just remember: your story matters more than the way it’s dressed.
So, tell me—do you recognize any of these signs in your own writing? Or are you proudly embracing your flamboyant, adjective-loving soul?
Let me know your answers in the comments below!
May every blank page bring excitement and never fear!
—Bair✍︎
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